Disclaimer: I really struggled with writing this, God gave me this in my spirit to write a while ago but, because of my worrying about feelings being hurt... I have pushed it off. Now, please know that this is not directed at anyone person, their relationship, or their spouse. God is merely using me as his vessel to give out his message. Now if you take offense, well then guilt.... it looks good on you! lol. Now can we talk!?!
What is my worth?!?!
I said that I would be very open with this blog and not hold anything back, because my testimony could help some one else along the way. so here goes it.
We as women by nature cater to men and their needs, while always putting our cares and needs on the back burner, and the majority of the time we are blindsided by the things they do because we are too busy trying to cater. Smh. Now not bashing all men, there are some that are different. My husband is one of the chosen few that is different, we cater to each other. It took me a while to realize my worth. Before him, I was in a relationship... rewind I thought I was in a relationship, it was one sided. In honesty I was loving on someone who didn't love me back. Blindsided. everything played into factor, I was young, dumb and in love with a dream. I would give up money, my time, my car, keys to my house and wasn't recieving nothing in return.. smh at my own self. For years I was fighting for this persons love and got nothing but lies and hurt. By the time I met my husband I was so jacked up and afraid of that rejected feeling again that I made him wait a whole year before I would see him in person. We literally texted a whole year before we dated because leaving the old situation I felt .... abused. Now don't get me wrong it never went there, one because I am crazy and two my mother and aunt didnt raise no fool! lol after 4 years of hurt one day I got up and I just said im through with this. I am done! I prayed and asked God to give me the strength to let go, to be alone and by my self to work on me. If I said it was easy I would be lying! I fell short a few times, I was tempted to give in, but in the end I knew that this person wasnt the one for me. I knew that no matter how hard I tried to fix it and make it right, it was wrong. Dead wrong. It is very easy to be unequally yoked with someone and not see it because you are blindsided! blindsided by the "You gone always be the one for me." or the "Baby, thats just my friend, I'm not messing with her" or even the "Let me hold 50 dollars, I luv u." When a man gives us attention evrything else is thrown out the window. Some women even put off their children. Ladies when is enough enough!!! I am sick of hearing he is trying, cause he is not.
Learning my worth! Praying got me through the rough nights and lonely days, that and working non stop. I took on so many hours of work just to keep my self busy until finally I was able to let go, till finally it was easy to go a whole day and think only about me! Before I even got into a new relationship I prayed over it! Sometimes in order to be successful we have to pray over a situation before it even comes in to the picture! Yes! You can ask God specifically for your hearts desire and he will give it to you. Trust him.
It hurts my heart standing in the position I am in and watching the ones that I love not know their worth!!! I am married to a king! I never thought that my damaged heart could be mended. not only because of a past relationship but because of my history in general. The analogy fits he took trash and turned into treasure! The funny thing is I still act a fool, to this day lol but he loves me just the way that I am and he takes great care of my heart!
Ladies, your Hearts keeper is out there somewhere! If you are in a relationship and the bad outweighs the good. Let it go!!!! Give God the desires of your heart! You are worth more than scraps! I feel like a televangelists right now.. but can we pray??
Father, we come thanking you for giving us health today, for waking us up and starting us on our way. Father we ask that you touch the very soft spot of our hearts, release the strongholds keeping us away from pure love. God give a peace of mind so that we can grow in you, Touch our minds dear Lord. Guard our hearts and make us new. Lord, Please fill the void, give us the strength to break away and find ourselves a new. Lastly Jesus please restore our worth! So that we can be great examples for those that are watching us and for the little ones around us so that a cycle will not be repeated. Thank you for loving us Father, even when we do not love ourselves. In Jesus name, Amen!
I pray that this finds you in a place of release. I pray that this touched someone. I am not here to judge you or put you down, I am simply doing what God had given me to do! God Bless you. SHARE, COMMENT, FOLLOW! ;)
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